{VLOG} The ONE tool to attract the LOVE you want

Do you want to attract a love that is deep and pure? 

Do you want to FEEL super confident about yourself and what you have to offer a partner? 

Are you looking for an amazing and supportive relationship but don’t know how to create it? 

I’m going to let you in on a little secret… 

Life is all about relationships. 


The relationship you have to objects, the weather, food, and to others  – and they all reflect the relationship you have with YOURSELF!

This all started when you were a child.

How did your parents and adults treat you?

What words did they use when they scolded you? Do you use the same words when you scold YOURSELF? The same goes for how you praise yourself. Did you use the same words when you are telling yourself ‘Well-done!’ Or perhaps your parents never praised you so you have no idea how to praise yourself.

And that’s okay. Don’t blame your parents. That’s a victim mentality and removing the ability to take control of your life and actions.

I don’t blame parents. They can’t teach you what they themselves did not know. They are simply victims of victims.

It’s said that every major relationship we have is a reflection of the relationship we had with one of our parents.

Let that sink in.

Every major relationship we have…..

Is a reflection….

Of the relationship….

We had with one of our parents.

Can you find truth in that? 

Perhaps too much truth that it’s scary?

Relationships are mirrors of ourselves. Always.

What we attract always mirrors qualities we have or beliefs we have about ourselves.

Exercise #1

Look for someone in your life that bothers you. Describe three things about this person you don’t like. Now look deeply inside of you and ask yourself ‘Where am I like that and when do I do the same thing?” 

Close your eyes and give yourself time to answer the question. Write down those instances when you’ve been the EXACT SAME WAY of what bothers you about someone else.

Then ask yourself if you’re willing to change.

When you remove patterns, habits and beliefs from your thinking and behavior, they will change or leave your life. It’s as simple as that.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Ghandi

If you have a lover who is cold and seems unloving, look to see if there is a belief within you that came from watching your parents in your childhood that says “Love is cold and undemonstartive.”

If you have a partner who is nagging and non-supportive, again, look to your childhood beliefs. Did you have a parent that was nagging and non-supportive? Are you that way?

There is only one way to change others – change ourselves first.

Change your patterns and your will find that ‘they’ are different too.

How do we attract the love we want? 

There’s a quote I love:

Mark Nepo the flower doesn't dream of the bee quote...

“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. The flower blossoms and the bee comes to it.” 

Love comes when we are least expecting it, when we are not looking for it. Hunting for love NEVER brings the right partner. It only creates longing and unhappiness.

Love is never outside ourselves, love is within ourselves. 

Exercise #2

Here’s a tool that I use with clients and it works. It’s also something that can be changed or added to on a daily or monthly basis as your desires and qualities change.

Sit down and list the qualities you want in a relationship. How do you want to feel in a relationship? How do you want your partner to act towards you? And what do you want your partner to say to you?

Now – develop those qualities in yourself and you will attract a person who has those qualities. 

And that’s it.

You have to BE the love you want to attract. 

Be ready for love when it does come.

Prepare the field and be ready for love to grow!

Be loving and you will be lovable. 

Comment below – which qualities in yourself are you going to develop now?

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