After 7 years as a love coach, I can tell you that many women are either looking for the WRONG things in a partner OR they simply have NO IDEA what to look for. 

Let me share with you what I’d be looking for if I was single and ready to mingle…

Which I am. 😉 

So here goes…

1 – Emotional Maturity & Intelligence 

Ultimately you are looking for a person who takes personal responsibility for their feelings and emotions. They are NOT looking for you to make them happy. They are not in victim mentality where the world is happening TO them. They are not codependent on you for their happiness or validation.

Instead, they take responsibility for their triggers and upsets.  And they also focus on how to make themselves happy by adjusting the ingredients in their life as necessary. 

So, be on the look-out for how much they allow the external to affect the internal or them placing too much responsibility on YOU for their happiness. 

Within a healthy relationship, your partner will ADD to your happiness levels (that YOU are responsible for creating in the first place) but never be the SOURCE of your happiness (or misery for that matter.)

2 – Kindness & Compassion 

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Having a kind + compassionate partner by your side when you make mistakes or are fumbling through life is incredibly supportive and helps you to be even MORE than you could be on your own! 

Look for a partner who lives in their heart, thereby exuding kindness and compassion for all sentient beings.. especially you! 

3 – Patience & Understanding 

We are talking LONG TERM here which means patience is of utmost important in a healthy relationship. 

4 – Personal Responsibility 

Does this individual take responsibility for their life and what they’ve created or are they the victim to what is happening to them? If they don’t take personal responsibility, then they will eventually MAKE you responsibility for their happiness, which is both unfair and codependent.

Be on the look out for someone who is blaming others for their circumstances… and RUN the other direction! 

5 – Growth Mindset 

As a woman on the path of personal development, this certainly has to be a top priority for you! With a growth mindset, you (and your future partner) don’t ever allow yourself to stay stuck in patterns or ways of being. You understand that the only constant is change and nothing is permanent. 

How this manifests in partnership are two people who are constantly rediscovering themselves and their partners, allowing each day to be a fresh start (rather than carrying past baggage with them.) 

Look for a person who is actively working on themselves and committed to being the best ever-evolving version of themselves. 

6 – Healthy Communication Skills 

I personally believe this is the MOST IMPORTANT skill within a healthy relationship. Mis-communication (or lack of communication) ruins more relationships than infidelity. (IMHO) 

This means you’re able to express your frustrations WITHOUT making the other person out to be wrong or bad. This also means you can talk about what you desire/need without guilt. It means you can talk about s3x without embarrassment or shame. 

Ultimately, it means you know how do you express your thoughts, feelings, needs & triggers in a way that the other person can hear you without feeling blamed, attacked or getting defensive. 

It’s a skillset that is learned that honestly many do NOT have. 

Look for a person who is open, honest, real and vulnerable with you without making YOU responsible for their reactions, thoughts or feelings. 

How do you find these types of dates? 


You master these skills yourself and you ATTRACT these partners to you as a result. 

It happens for EVERY SINGLE ONE of my clients (tens of thousands of happy relationships and counting…) and it will easily happen for you as well! 

Ready to get started? 

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