Here’s the best way I know to avoid drama in your relationship:
Don’t BE dramatic.
Simple as that.
We get what we put out, energetically speaking. And so if YOU are the type of gal who is dramatic, who is jealous, who gossips, etc, you will absolutely attract drama into your relationship.
One of my favorite sayings is this:
“We don’t get what we want. We get who we are.”
So who are you being?
I know this is not what you wanted to hear and many will think to themselves: I’m not dramatic! I’m not jealous. I have no issues. I’m just perfect. It’s him that needs to change.
Sorry, sister. This is simply not true. No one is perfect. We are all works in progress.
News flash: We are mirrors for one another.
And your relationship is the most intimate mirror you will ever have. So if you don’t like something in your relationship, you’ve got to change yourself. YOU are the person who needs to take a good hard look into the mirror and realize that you need to step it up in the self-development department.
So how do you improve yourself and remove the pattern of being dramatic, or needy, or whatever other ‘issues’ that you may have?
- Read self-help books. Yes, you heard me correctly. Self-help books are no longer just for those under the care of a psychiatrist. I’ve read over 1,000 self-help books in the past decade and they have morphed me into a human being that truly cares about herself, that sees the good in every person she meets, and believes that love is at the core of it all. And as a result? I have a pretty damn good life filled with amazing close and loving relationships. We are mirrors for one another. Once you change your internal environment, your external environment will change. I do promise you this.
- Meditate. Our ego loves to run the show. He’ll run the show in the form of self-doubt, self-sabotaging, fears, talking yourself out of a good idea, pursuing the ‘bad boys’ instead of the strong, supportive man, etc. One of the best ways I know to shut the ego off – aka the monkey mind – is to meditate. It clears the mind and paves the wave for love/inspiration/source energy to step in. A daily meditation of only 10 minutes has been shown to have a variety of benefits including: stress reduction, improving concentration, encouraging a healthy lifestyle, increasing self-awareness, increasing happiness, increasing acceptance, and reducing the desire to give a damn what other people think about you or what other people are doing with their lives. And that my dear, is fricken awesome, if you ask me.
- Love yourself and treat yourself how you want to be treated. So many of clients are their own worst enemy! The shit they say to themselves has even me feeling anxious and uncomfortable. But the more you can learn to love yourself and feel like a rockstar in your skin, the less drama you will feel you need to play out in your life. Start being aware of the words you are saying in your mind and be kinder and more gentle in your speak. Take time out of each and every day to do something for you. Even if it’s just 10 minutes to sit down and read your favorite book. You must put yourself first in your life not last after every item on your to-do list.
Because it’s so important I’ll say it one last time to really sink this point home: we are consistently attracting into our lives the exact energy that we are putting out into the world.
If you think the world is filled with kind, loving individuals, in general you will experience a world filled with kind, loving, and generous individuals.
If on the other hand, you think people are not to be trusted and he’ll cheat on you and everyone is only out for themselves…well…you probably can guess exactly what you’ll encounter on a daily basis.
In summary, if you’re looking to remove the drama from your relationship, remove the drama from yourself first!