How to GET OVER your trust issues so you can have Happily Ever After (Truth Tuesdays)

I’ve never been cheated upon. 

 

Thank god.

 

But my partner, unfortunately, has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of a significant other NOT being faithful. 

According to “Infidelity Statistics”

“It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage… And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, if you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart”

Yuck.

That means at least half of you who are reading this have engaged in infidelity or have been cheated on! 

So – if that is you, how do you tell your partner that you have trust issues? 

And more importantly, how do you GET OVER your insecurities already!? 

Find out by watching!

And make sure you do the following exercises I talk about in the video: 

1. Write your Painful Love Story and then shift it to become the HERO in your life, not the VICTIM

2. Write your Letters of Forgiveness and BURN them, baby! 

 

For those of you who are looking for clear, open, honest and conflict-free communication with your significant other, check out my Conflict to Conscious Communication course!! 

It’s a MUST for anyone looking to remove arguing, drama and fights from there relationship for good!

What the Original “Badass” could teach YOU about Love

Ahh! Amazing story of how I, Emyrald Sinclaire, manifested meeting one of my BIGGEST mentors! 

We all have our heroes – and Jen Sincero is one of MY personal heroes. She is self help guru combined with your sarcastic best friend rocking out to Led Zeppelin. 

And I manifested meeting her! 

 Love Coach Emyrald Sinclaire

How did I do it?

It’s the same damn amazing powerful process that I teach you every single week! 

One: Desire it
Two: Have unwavering faith that ‘it’ is going to happen
Three: Take inspired action towards your goal on a daily basis

 

I’d been looking forward to Jen’s book signing for a couple of months now, since her book tour was released. My desire became strong to meet her and share with her what an influence she has been on my life and my coaching career. And there was NO DOUBT in my mind that I was going to meet her at the book signing. 

 Love Coach Emyrald Sinclaire

However….an amazing miracle happened that I could NOT have planned (which is what I’m always telling you when you’re manifesting the love of your life. Don’t worry about the HOW! Just focus upon what you want and the FEELINGS of getting it). 

 

Yesterday, I woke up and my personal mantra was:
“I’m going to meet Jen Sincero today! I’m going to meet Jen Sincero today! I’m going to meet Jen Sincero today!”

 

I was pumped.

I was more excited than a kid in a candy store who’s grandma had just told him he can have whatever he wants! 

Now, here is the lesson that deserves to be hit home. 

 

I cannot stress enough how IMPORTANT it is that you go about your daily life and do your damnest to feel happy every single day! 

 

So yesterday I’m going about my day as planned: clients, an interview, lunch with my man, personal care session with an amazing healer, another client, dinner with a girlfriend and THEN the book signing…aka meeting my hero, Jen. 

And guess what happens somewhere in the MIDDLE of me going about my day and following my heart?! 

BAM! 

I meet Jen. She’s getting a session at the exact same place I’m getting a session at. 

 

YOU. CAN’T. PLAN. THIS. SHIT. 

 

Which is what I tell you every day about meeting the love of your life. Don’t worry about the HOW. That’s the role of the Universe. You just go about being so fricken happy and overjoyed with your life that you can barely contain from peeing yourself. 

And when I met Jen, oh man, I almost pee’d myself. 

Although, I think I did a great job at composing myself and settled instead for a hug, a couple of compliments, and a request for a photo. 

 

Wanna hear some wisdom from the original Badass herself, Jen Sincero? 

 Love Coach Emyrald Sinclaire

 

Here’s what she had to share yesterday and I write it down here today to share with you all because it’s so damn important and it’s also really fricken simple AND not only that, her advice is going to help you manifest the love you desire. 

 

  • Never give up. Persistence is the key to manifesting your heart’s desires. 
  • Follow your fears (More on that later)
  • To change your life… you have to be willing to be uncomfortable over and over again (meaning, it might not be easy to go out on ‘dates’ by yourself….but it’s practically impossible to meet someone when you’re out with 6 of your drunk girlfriends)
  • To be rich, you have to want it more than anything else in your life (meaning if you want the LOVE of your life…. you have to WANT IT more than you want anything else in your life…more than your comfort zone, more than you desire to be comfy in your jammies watching a movie on a Saturday night, you hear me?)
  • Hire a coach. If you’re been broke for 40 years (or in your case, single for longer than you can remember and dating losers that make you want to become a nun), your ‘plan’ obviously isn’t working. 
  • Your fears are your compass – if it scares you, do it! (I always say that your desires are your compass towards your greatest life ever! But she brings up a good point. In order to grow you have to stretch yourself beyond your present comfort zone. Only THEN will you experience something that is radically different than what you are living right now)
  • Don’t ‘shrink yourself’ to appease someone else. Never stop growing into who you’re meant to be. 
  • You have to have a healthy relationship with money for it to stick around. (Or in the case of love, you HAVE to have a healthy relationship of LOVING yourself before you can ever expect someone else to love you and stick around and treat ya good!)
  • Own your worth. aka Love yo’self. 

 

Looking to learn how to LOVE YO’SELF so you attract in the LOVE of your life?! It’s exactly what I teach in my ManifestHim program.

And if you haven’t read it yet – Manifest your Love in 21 Days – is my super popular guide that has been PROVEN to get serious marriage proposal in as little as days?! Sound too good to be true? Try it for yourself and find out!

Real Life True LOVE Story of HOW Love for yourself Manifests the Love of your Life (#TT episode 33)

An amazing true LOVE story and how Kim manifested a man who is MORE perfect for her than she could have imagined

Kim has her own tale of heart-ache. She was engaged to a man who she thought was ‘the one’. They were madly in love with a lot of passion and everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly

or so she thought…. 

Until just weeks before their wedding day, he called it off! 

 

She was in so much pain, she couldn’t even drag herself off of the floor…

 

Until…

 

She asked herself this ONE THING. (minute 1:50)

 

And then….THIS is what she did (minute 3:00) and it was the HARDEST thing for her to do…and yet it yielded results!

Except – she was only doing these things ‘to get the guy.’ And this will NEVER get you the guy! 

 

Also learn: 

  • The “design your life” worksheet (minute 4:44)
  • Why ‘9 out of 10’ isn’t good enough 
  • The power of ‘gratitude’ as far as manifesting the love of your life goes 
  • The advice from Kim on HOW to actually manifest your soulmate (and it’s the other way around of what most people follow)
  • THIS is when everything falls into place in your life
  • The SECRET love letter Kim wrote (and you won’t guess to WHO!) to manifest her man

 

#TruthTuesdays on top of a mountain with a special guest! 

Why MANifesting a high quality partner is hard (Truth Tuesdays Ep. 31)

 

You know what you want…

 

An amazing partnership with a man or woman who loves you and respects you…

and let’s be real…the sex is ah-maze-ZING!!  🙂

 

So – why don’t you have what you want? 

 

Because there is one little (OK HUGE) thing getting in your way. 

 

In today’s episode of #TruthTuesdays, I give it to you straight with a side of sassy!

 

Why MAN-ifesting a good man is so gosh darn difficult! 

 

And the proven 3 step process (that I refer to as the ‘three c’s’) to SHIFT your beliefs and manifestation process so that you actually CAN manifest true love. 

 

Watch and learn and be prepared to be blown away at what you learn, my dear!

 

 

Psst….hey you!

 

Yes, you.

 

The one still reading because you LOVED the video and you’re hoping for some MORE secrets to love and manifestation. 
If you are READY to cut through the BS excuses…

 

If you are READY for a loving and cherishing partner…

 

If you’d like to STOP the patterns of lame-ass dudes in your life…

 

If you’d like to stop being SCARED that you’ll be alone forever…

 

Then quite honestly, we need to talk. 

 

I have the solution for you. 

 

Click here to find out what it is, love. 

 

 

 

How to Forgive your Ex and Why this Helps you ATTRACT Love (truth tuesdays ep 28)

Do you find it hard to forgive your ex? 

Do you still harbor resentment towards a past (or current) lover who has betrayed your trust? 

I hate to be the one to tell you so bluntly but you HAVE to let that go if you are going to actually be in a healthy and happy long-term relationship with the love of your life!!

Stick with me here, in the short video below I show you EXACTLY how to forgive someone who has betrayed your trust so that you can create space for a truly fulfilling relationship that gives you everything your heart craves for! 

Such as: safety, security, trust, happiness, love, desire, and fulfillment!

 

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Betrayed You

 

Looking to reconnect on a  deeper level with your significant other?

Join the Relationship Reconnection! A FREE 3 part series designed to help you deepen your connection with your partner, increase the intimacy between the two of you, and bring love to the forefront of your relationship again.

How I almost RUINED my relationship with my guy and the two steps I took to break free from fear!

I help women manifest their soulmates. Their partner. Their love. Their other half. Call it what you will…

And I wish I could tell you that the work stopped there.

Step 1. Learn to love yourself. 

Step 2. Attract in your reciprocal. 

Step 3. Happily ever after. 

happily ever after

Um…no.

That’s not how it works.

Using the tools I teach to other women, I manifested the man of my dreams.

And shortly after we moved in together, things got hard.

Like really hard.

Like ‘what would you do if we broke up’ type of conversation really hard.

Couple Fighting

And let me tell you, my heart was hurting.

I had attracted in the love of my life and yet old patterns and thoughts and belief systems were getting in the way and sabotaging this relationship that I had worked so hard to get.

I learned really quick that the work never ends. And especially not in the most important relationship – the one with your intimate.

Our partner is an amazing (and sometimes hard to see) mirror.

I knew these fights that my guy and I were having were not only about him..but deeply deeply about me. 

emyrald sinclaire love coach

When he said that I made him feel like ‘he wasn’t good enough and that he failed,’ well you can bet I flipped that around in my head instantly to mean “I don’t think I’m good enough and I think I failed.”

Wait, let me back up here. I’m getting ahead of myself.

As soon as we shifted from honeymoon phase and started down this path to self-sabotage, there were two very important tools that I used to figure out what the hell was going on and how the heck to fix it.

how to break free from fear

Because ultimately, deep down in my heart, I know I deserve to have an amazing relationship with myself an with my beloved.

And if you’re reading this, so do you.

     1. The Work by Byron Katie

Byron-Katie

The premise of the Work is 4 questions. Byron Katie offers up the worksheet freely on her website which you can access and print out at any time.

You take a belief that is bothering you. Perhaps it is about someone you haven’t forgiven.

In my case, I will use a very personal example to show you how it’s done:

“I believe that my partner doesn’t really love me and doesn’t want to be with me.” 

Question 1: Is it true? Yes or no. 

In this case, when I searched into my heart (and it didn’t take much searching) I found the answer to be ‘no.’

If I had answered ‘yes’ I would have moved onto  question 2.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

Question 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 

For me, I felt sad and insecure. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. 

You can then dig deeper into the reply by answering an additional series of questions.

a) Does that thought bring peace or stress into your life? 

b) What images do you see, past and future, and what physical sensations arise as you think that thought and witness those images? 

c) What emotions arise when you believe that thought?

d) Do any obsessions or addictions begins o appear when you believe that thought? (Do you act out on any of the following: alcohol, drugs, credit cards, food, sex, television?)

e) How do you treat the person in this situation when you believe the thought? How do you treat other people and yourself?

Question 4. Who would you be without the thought? 

I would simply be at peace. I would be happy in my relationship on a daily basis and excited about all the big changes ahead of us! I would enjoy each and every moment with this amazing being who loves me dearly. 

Emyrald and her partner

And after you’ve done all of this, the turn-around. Take the belief and turn it around to yourself, to the other and to the opposite.

The Turn Around

1. To the Self I don’t really love me.

2. To the other I don’t really love him.

3. To the opposite He doesn’t really love me. 

And then you ask yourself if the turnaround is less true, true, or more true than the original statement. And let me tell you, you’ll know if your heart immediately if they are true or even truer than your originally statement.

For me, #1 was huge. My heart was saying, “OH YEAH!” Whereas for #2 and #3 it was a quick answer of “that’s not true.”

Even more, it’s beneficial to find at least 3 times in this situation where you can find those turn arounds to be true.

By doing this exercise I VERY QUICKLY realized my core issue was a feeling of not being good enough and not loving myself.

I realized that I had been forgetting about me.

And remembering that the only way we can truly attract love into our lives is by loving ourselves FIRST. Only then can we attract in the exact same love.

Little me, the scared little girl inside, was not feeling the love. So she was lashing out…

Which brings me to the second exercise on my healing journey to self-love and awareness.

     2. Taming Your Outer Child by Susan Anderson

Taming Your outer child by susan anderson

This is a book that is the culmination of over 30 years of clinical experience performed by Susan Anderson.

The premise is that we all have an inner child.

The inner child is our 4 year old self that has basic needs to feel loved and safe and secure. When those needs aren’t being met, our outer child acts out as a way to get those needs to be met. However, it’s never in a healthy way and as a result of outer child’s actions, it usually makes the problem worse.

For example:

  • Inner child wants to feel safe and secure and protected but feels scared because you’re in debt. Outer child responds by going on a shopping spree with the credit cards. Because after all, having more stuff makes you feel good about yourself and secure in your social status, right?
  • Inner child wants to feel loved and good about herself. But you’ve been hurt in the past by previous relationships. So outer responds by binge eating. You gain weight. Outer thinks she is helping because now you’re overweight and ‘safe’ and not attracting in a partner. You can’t get hurt if you’re not in a relationship, right?
  • Outer is the one that eats the chocolate cake when you’re on a diet.
  • Outer is the one that procrastinates when you’ve got an important deadline.

Essentially outer child acts out when the inner child is tired, cranky, triggered or stressed and her needs aren’t being met.

When I realized that issues between he and I were most certainly our outer children acting out, I did a writing exercise. 

It might seems silly. And it will most likely seem a little schizophrenic, but it works.  And I highly suggest you try it.

The Little/Big Exercise:

Close your eyes and imagine your inner child. Your inner child is you at four years old and just wants love. When those needs aren’t being met, Outer Child (lets pretend it’s a big brother around 10 years old) acts out to help protect Inner. But it always makes things worse.

See your Inner Child. See your Outer child. And then put your Adult Self in the room with the two of them. Your adult self is a loving, caring adult. (I usually envision a loving aunt or grandma for this).

Tell Inner child that it’s okay to turn around and stand up to Outer Child. Inner child tells Outer Child that there is no need to protect her any more because Adult Self is there.

Now this is where it gets fun. 

Open your eyes. Grab and pen and paper and start by having a conversation between your Inner Child and your Adult (Big) self.

Emyrald Sinclaire love coach

I will use the beginning of my dialog as an example so you can see how powerful this work is and you’ll be surprised by what actually comes up!

Big: What’s up, little? Why is Outer acting up so much? What am I missing?

Little: I’m scared. What if Ron doesn’t like me in the end? Once he really gets to know me? What if I’m unlovable?

Big: That’s not possible. You’re completely lovable. I love you!

Little: No you don’t. You’re so worried about external validation that you’re not really focused on loving me.

Big: That’s going to change. I’ll do things every day to show that I love you. I do love you. And I love Ron, too.

Little: But what about me? If you don’t love me, things will get worse. Outer will keep acting out and sabotage your relationship with Ron. And you’ll be alone. And unhappy. Because all you’ll be left with is me…who you don’t really love. And we’ll both be sad.

Big: I hear you. I’m listening. You need more love. I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you. What can I do?

You see?! It’s so amazing what comes up in our subconscious as we’re having a conversation with ourselves.

The conversation went on and I realized some deep and powerful nuggets, such as: I’m so scared of being seen for who I really am. What if I’m not good enough?”

The conversation ended with Big comforting Little and promising to be pro-active and take the steps I need to take and not allow fear to ruin my life. I’ll put on my big girl pants and start acting like a mature grown-up and show you love. I’ll act from my heart in love and not from fear.” 

Emyrald Sinclaire love coach for single women

I know, sounds a bit crazy.

But you’ll have to trust me on this.

These 2 steps saved my relationship.

And I continue to use them when necessary. It’s a never-ending process. We don’t reach enlightenment. Just like we don’t reach a perfect relationship end-point where we can just sit back, put our feet up and enjoy the good life.

I wish I would have known about them earlier. But I know about them now. And now you have the tools, too.

Oh, and one more thing….

You HAVE to write down the conversation with Little.

If you just THINK the dialog, your mind is too quick. It gets ahead of you and tries to come up with the solution. You HAVE to write and have the conversation. Only then you will reach your ‘a-ha’ moments.

Your homework: Buy the books. Read them. Do the work.

And I promise, your life will improve. Not just in your love life and relationships, but in general.

And tell me what happens when you do so.

Already read the books? Tell me below how you’ve put those tools into your life practice! Not just in relationships but in every aspect!